Ten Commandments of Marriage

Probably old but refreshing

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say; talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,
the woman  speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts  when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished 

Laws Applicable to all Human Residents of Earth

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have
a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:

If you change queues, the one you have left will
start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law

When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.

11. Owen's Law

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something, which will last
until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law

You remember you have to mail a letter only when
you're near the mailbox.

13. Gentlemen's Law

When you see a beautiful young hot girl, either she
is married or you are married.



Thats it for now!!!!!!!!!